I may be imagining this- but I doubt it. I have recently been in the presence of some really snarky homeschooling ladies.
Well, maybe not in the presence of as much as on their board- and let me tell you, I could never be friends IRL with these ladies!
Since the area I live in is pretty much void of fellow homeschoolers, I have leaned on my blog and homeschool group friends to teach me the ropes. I have learned so much from all of the great women I have come to know over the last couple years!
I also now realize that not every group is all about the love and support.
Some are also about making sure you know that what curriculum/learning style/co-op group they choose is superior to yours. And that all of their friends use it too! Just so you know. And maybe, just maybe, you can be like them.
I think I will pass.
Do you know what else I noticed from these higher thinkers? The most popular posts, every day, were related by one tag word-
secular:
- Worldly rather than spiritual.
- Not specifically relating to religion or to a religious body (answers.com)
And while searching the word secular, I came across this little nugget:
“As defined by Paul Draper, naturalism is "the hypothesis that the natural world is a closed system, which means that nothing that is not a part of the natural world affects it." Thus, "naturalism implies that there are no supernatural entities"—including God.” {emphasis mine} – infidels.org
I wonder if there is a connection?
I lean on God and His word to find our way in the sea of homeschooling.
“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1
I feel mocked by them.
I am not saying there are no other homeschoolers or groups who think their curriculum is THE ultimate choice, and that if you choose to not use what they use you are missing out. Or- they act as if they wrote the curriculum and you are hurting them by making another choice. BUT- I will say that I have never felt a gathering place of homeschooling women who were so hostile!
And void of love.
“For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness.”
Psalm 26:3
I love all of mankind. I pray that they come to the truth, and I try my best to shine my light. I know how much our walk as Christians can do for our fellow man. I also know that there are some who will choose to never hear it. I pray for them.
As for the group? I won’t be going back.
I didn’t imagine running into homeschooling peer pressure, but now that I have seen it- I will choose to avoid it!
As far as for our choices- I happily share, but only because I have learned so much from other moms. I know how lost I was starting out. I write reviews and tell you what we like and what we don’t-to help you sift through the sea of curriculum too.
Has anyone else encountered homeschooling peer pressure? How do you handle it?
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Love your post. Unfortunately, I think it's because we all need to feel loved/accepted and in doing so...sometimes hurt others. your pain is real, I have felt it....give grace, pray to God and keep it from festering in your own heart. Hurting people hurt others...we are all hurt and we are all living in a fallen world.
ReplyDeleteI read this twice through. I'm sorry that you have been hurt by other's thoughtless comments. I believe that people who want to be right or who need to be affirmed sometimes can cause great difficulty and pain to those around them, {hopefully} without realizing it.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think we never actually graduate from kindergarten and spend our lives trying to be king of the mountain, or not playing with Susie because she ran away. Sigh.
Blessing and grace to you, my friend....and, since I'm looking into homeschooling - if you see me headed their way, please tell me!!
I think you nailed it when you realized they were secular minded. Any time we get our eyes off God our methods and curriculums become idols. Weake them the be all and end all. Alot of this is driven by fear. The fear of making sure they have the "perfect" curriculum since this is what they are depending on for success. Even as Christians we can easily get caught up what we or the world think our kids need and miss what God has for us. I fell to this pressure this year and put my 8th grader in a couple of one day a week classes because I was convinced by well meaning friends that every 8th grader needs these classes and without them he would be behind and he needs to know how to sit in a class and take tests and on and on. This year has been incredibly stressful for our entire family because I fell to peer pressure instead of seeking God. God has been faithful and turned the ashes into beauty but it brought much hardship to our year.
ReplyDeleteI have encountered this too.
ReplyDeleteAs a Christan unschooler I actually encounter it a LOT. Christian homeschoolers often say it's unchristian t unscool and radical unschoolers say I'm not unschool because we're not radical unschoolers (my kids have rules, chores, tv/wii limits, bedtimes, etc)
But, it's okay, I have a few people who understand & support me and even if I didn't, that'd be okay too, because I know this is the path Go wants us on & it works for our family.
I don't expect homeschooling to work for every family much less a specific style, approach or curriculum to work for every family! :)
MY favorite reason why we homeschool is because of the flexibility. I was shown the ropes at one homeschoolers house and tried to copy her style. I hated it - we ended up not speaking because I felt like I was NEVER gonna be a good homeschooler. And I hate to see posts where homeschoolers rattle off in an authoritative tone how great their specific way, curriculum, style, etc. of homeschooling is compared to others. Homeschooling is unique because its like a finger print - no two families are the same! That's the beauty!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post (and that's from someone who is running a homeschool group =)
Great post. I try my best to ignore those who think their way is the only way or the curriculum they are using is the best. The beauty of homeschooling is the flexibility and the abundance of choices! If the forum has an "ignore" feature - just use it - then you don't have to miss out on the good nuggets.
ReplyDeleteMary :)
Homeschooling definitely should not be a one size fits all environment! I have lots of homeschooling friends in my city, and I don't think that I would be able to find any 2 moms that are doing the exact same things. That is the beauty of homeschooling...it can be customized to the child's learning style, and the priorities of the family. So sorry that you ran into a snooty bunch! You are wise to not follow the crowd. Do what is best for your family and your children, and trust God to guide your choices! :)
ReplyDeletewritingthewaves.com
I have found this as well. Some blogs/posts/forums just have a very snooty ("I'm better than you") air to them. My philosphy lately is this... "If you think you're better than me, then you probably are!" How's that for humility?! LOL. I am a stay at home, homeschool Mom, that has a dirty laundry waiting, toys shoved in overflowing bins, a house that needs a good spring cleaning, and as hard as I strive for perfection, I am SO not there. So, if some want to be "better than me" that is fine... I'd rather surround myself with those that are "with me" :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree, I would never want to be IRL friends with those sort of people anyway! My husband and I always say, those who appear "too perfect" are usually those most miserable. We don't say this out of judging, but just from observation.
At least you have me, Sam ;) Now, that should make you laugh!
I was having a really rough day so far, but your statement about the "snarky homeschooling ladies" about had me laughing off my chair. ;-) I think sometimes it is so easy when we find what is right and a good fit for us, that we assume this position on it that it must be the right choice for everyone else! Except for those absolute truths in Scripture, other things like homeschool curriculum, how we schedule our day, etc are just a matter of personal preference and what fits our family. My oldest is just now 3, but I am sure I will be finding out all about homeschooling peer pressure, from those who do and do not homeschool ;-)
ReplyDeleteVery nicely said, and I might add it happens in public schools as well. Some think their way is the only way, and if you're not doing it than you're just not "as good a teacher". I've taught with a few "snarky" teachers myself!
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. I try to leave my two cents for a poster to take or leave, but the whole, "Use my stuff or you're an idiot" thing - no. And - if anything I ever write comes across that way, please let me know! :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting. One place where I was previously very active, I've found I go back because a few ask for me, but not because I really want to visit. It just harder and harder to endure reading questions that I can not relate to, coming from world views to which I can not relate. It's not them - they are who they say they are and stay that course, but I remain increasingly conservative and the direction of my path find less and less in common with the masses there.
Growth, seasons, spring. I smell some virtual spring cleaning coming up!
Yes, I agree. I try to leave my two cents for a poster to take or leave, but the whole, "Use my stuff or you're an idiot" thing - no. And - if anything I ever write comes across that way, please let me know! :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting. One place where I was previously very active, I've found I go back because a few ask for me, but not because I really want to visit. It just harder and harder to endure reading questions that I can not relate to, coming from world views to which I can not relate. It's not them - they are who they say they are and stay that course, but I remain increasingly conservative and the direction of my path find less and less in common with the masses there.
Growth, seasons, spring. I smell some virtual spring cleaning coming up!