Why Am I Here?

As a stay-at-home homeschooling mom, I am often given the impression that I am to be pitied, as if something better in my life has been put on hold to raise my family, and I will one day move on to what I was supposed to be.

Let me first say that I never started out with dreams of a big family. I never really had dreams at all. I knew I would figure it out when it hit me. I started down the college path, and decided I would study Criminal Justice. I didn’t even know what I would want to be when I finished that journey! Cop? Juvenile Delinquency Officer? Lawyer? I didn’t know.

Early on- say, the first semester of my freshmen year, I discovered we had started our family- a little ahead of schedule. I was 18, not a Christian, unmarried, and working at Burger King while going to school. I wasn’t even living in the same state as my very soon to be husband.

I was not on the obvious track of a woman on a mission to put God first.

I was young. I was independent. I was going to be a mom.

Even at 18, I knew that motherhood would change everything. Our wedding date was moved up, I didn’t sign up for the next semester of classes, and I quit work.

I knew nothing about being a mom. The one thing I did know was that no one was going to care for my child other than his parents. The day our first child was born I suddenly knew I would breastfeed. I am so thankful he spit up that first bottle! It made offers to leave without the baby very easy to decline.

When our son was  almost one I decided to get a job. That lasted a month. He got an ear infection, and I knew I couldn’t leave him while he was sick.

I had to be there.

We also never planned a big family. I  felt chemical birth control was not right, so I didn’t use it. We tried other methods. We had more children. Then I found a copy of the book by Randy Alcorn, Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?, which you can still find very cheap, and there is also a condensed version here, that you can read for free. I am so glad I found that book! I had a reason to not use those pills, and I am grateful that I listened to that little voice that told me not to use birth control, even when others mocked me for it.

Now here I am today, a mother to six blessings. I get a mixture of women telling me they wish they could redo their life and have more, those who now wish they had started earlier, forgotten a career and enjoyed their family. And then there are the ones  who tell me they want to stay home, but for various reasons can’t or are pressured not to. There are those who are putting off a family, for the sake of a career, to make something of themselves.

Sally Clarkson says in The Mission of Motherhood:

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…as a culture we have lost the vision of the crucial role mothers play in the life of the next generation. When women are not to embrace motherhood with a whole heart, as an occupation worthy of a full life’s devotion, a part of the basic design of our femininity is devalued. Women were designed to nurture, to provide a life-giving environment in the home-to provide a center of life for all who live there. (emphasis mine)

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And so in the end, what has the feminist movement done to our femininity?

Pressured us to give up the very thing we were designed to do?

Made other women look down upon those who are trying to be what God designed them to be?

Made a wreck of marriages and family life?

Given the impression that serving your husband is slavery, and undesirable?

As Dr. Phil would say- How’s that working for you America?

I don’t know about you, but I would rather have my husband to answer to, than any other boss I’ve ever known. We’re a team. We have each other’s interest at heart. We have a common goal.

I would rather stay in my home, caring for and educating my children, than any other career. And this is a career, you know.

I have nothing against any mom who works outside the home, or decides not to have a family. I just think it is time to put the value of being a mother back for those who of us who do stay home.

I don’t need to make something of myself. God already designed me to be a wife and mother.

I am a domestic engineer.

I am mom.

I am a teacher.

I have future generations counting on my faithfulness.

I love my career.

My choice to follow the Biblical example of a woman’s role is not to be pitied.

So as usual, when someone stops me in the store and says “Bless your heart”, I will tell them I am indeed blessed.

Very blessed.

“The man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.” Genesis 3:20

Please share this with all of the stay-at-home moms in your life. Let’s encourage one another!